Yesterday I pushed my first real project to a public repository on GitHub. It’s small right now though I hope to flesh it out over time, and it is very niche, but I hope it helps others who come across it. Regardless I’m proud of it. If you like, you can check it out here, I’d love your feedback, but that’s not the reason I’m writing this.
I’m here to tell you why I did it.
You see, I’m a private kind of person. I don’t often put myself out there for fear of embarrassing myself. I have always been worried that I might end up looking silly. That someone who knows more than I do, or knows something differently than I do would catch me out – and if that happened, I couldn’t put the genie back in the bottle. Back in school, I wouldn’t put my hand up even if I knew the right answer, just in case. I was ensnared by Impostor Syndrome, it was crippling, and it had to change.
So, what did I do? I started a blog, and in almost a year I’ve managed to get around 10-12 posts up. It isn’t much nor is it pretty, and sometimes I worry too much about the time in between posts, and rush to put something up which is not always perfect. But I’m happy to be doing it all the same. Mostly, I try to post about topics and problems that I haven’t been able to find complete information around elsewhere.
I’ve started spending more time sharing and interacting on Twitter and LinkedIn, rather than just reading and clicking links. I’ve even been followed and liked a few times. Lastly, I’ve been spending more time on these forums and elsewhere, helping out where I can.
Overall, I feel better in myself, and have a greater level of confidence in my skills, knowledge, and what I can bring to the table. In the end, that is what led me to feeling good enough to publish my project. I can’t say that I’m completely over Impostor Syndrome and I don’t think I ever will be. I can say that I don’t feel it as often as I used to, and I can use it to drive myself to be better.
When we are presented with a problem, we often go looking for answers from others. Flip that around and it means that if you have solved a problem, there is probably someone else looking for the answer and would really appreciate your experience. So why not put it out there?